Relationships take work but being in one on two different continents is a different ball game. The relationship has to be tended to when time zones allow for it and your heart misses someone 24/7. It is not something I recommend unless like me and my partner, you happen to be head over heels in love with each other. In December, our lives (and mutual friends) brought us both to Thailand, where we met and our love story started. From there we traveled for a month to the Philippines where the backdrop to falling in love was endless islands, boating adventures, and sunrise dates. It wasn’t all paradise though, there was a good dose of drama, terrifying waters, and me getting incredibly ill. But at the end of that month of travels, he was the easiest decision I ever made. Apparently, he felt the same way and three weeks later he flew to be with me in San Diego.
We spent February, March, and April dating, but also living together. Its unconventional and we knew that, but we also just couldn’t do a week here and there. We wanted to see if this was real, outside of a holiday. It wasn’t always easy, we found ourselves in a real relationship that took communication and compromise. We moved fast in our relationship but somehow those moments that tested our ability to talk about the hard stuff, we went slow. By that I mean that we didn’t ever argue or fight, we just talked our way through it. I was scared in the beginning that the presence of these issues and conversations meant we weren’t going to make it, but now I see them as setting a foundation for our relationship that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Our foundation was being built on these beautiful things like trust and communcation and vulnerability, not to mention endless dates around the city, laughing, taking silly photos, and just enjoying each other’s company to no end.
Well, to some end. He left on May 2 to go back to the Netherlands. Visa was up.
And so we found ourselves at the crossroads that any transcontinental love encounters: when is the next time we can be together?
And if you are one of the 3 people following my blog you already know this answer! In 53 days I am moving myself to the Netherlands for (hopefully) 6 months. I don’t know what to expect other than getting to love this man to his face, every day. Very much looking forward to that. I plan to continue to blog all through my adventures, so follow me if you want to see how this turns out!
Oh! And I started writing this with the intention of sharing how he and I have stayed feeling so closely connected despite the distance.
1. We communicate through different mediums– sometimes it’s a sweet text, other times a funny meme or spicy Snapchat. Keeps things interesting!
2. There is 100% trust. No doubts, no accusatory questioning. Just complete and total trust. Its a breath of fresh air to have this.
3. Reassurance. I have no shame in saying that I love when he reminds me he’s thinking of me, that he is in this 100%, and that he’s excited about me coming. This is definitely an individual need and he fulfills it without even knowing I need it.
4. We make time for each other. It’s easy to put the phone call on the back burner when life gets busy, but prioritizing our relationship just as we would in the same space makes me feel connected and valued.
5. We still communicate about the hard stuff. We talk about what we’re feeling, good and bad. The communication is all we have right now and its somehow even brought us closer and more in love, continents apart and everything.
Okay, well until my next cheesy little love rant…
#loveisbeautiful
-O.G.
One Girl, Two Cents 